Breakfast BLT !

Swear this is the prettiest sandwich I ever made. I moved out in January and really started cooking now that I have my own space. I love it. The more you cook the more you realize there really is an art to it. That egg is A1, that bacon is crispy to perfection lol ! You guys have no idea how much I enjoyed it ! 

The Love You Create

friendship [noun]
def. (1)the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
 (2)a state of mutual trust and support

1. [synonym]: harmony, unity, attachment

respect [noun]

def. (1)a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

love [noun]

def. (1)an intense feeling of deep affection. (2) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)

We scroll...we scroll daily on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and any other hit social app out there. What do we mostly see? Pictures of people talking about how they want this and that, the "relationship goals". Everybody nowadays wants to be with somebody, BUT nobody wants to do it the right way. I'll keep it three stacks, in my mind and soul I know the right way but I never followed through. I rushed.  As individuals we all get so wrapped up in our perfect idea of love and how it's supposed to go that we skip steps. MAJOR STEPS. 

It always starts out with the simple, "let's chill". So you chill, nothing wrong with that. The more and more you chill, usually at someone house you end up only seeing one room. The bedroom. It goes from chilling on the couch like Ed, Edd, and Eddy to the R.Kelly bump and grind real quick. It becomes routine. That's what you and this other person do now, you "chill". After while the chillin' gets played out. 

When it comes to this whole "let's chill" scheme (yes, I called it a scheme! straight up PLOT!) , some guys have it in mind to actually do just that. Let's be honest though, majority of them don't want to chill with you. They know the first couple of times they will actually have to sit on that couch and watch tv with you. It's all good though because they know sooner or later they can tell when to go for the strike. Now ladies, we know this too. Well some of us, these younger ones.....let us pray. As we pray for them let's go head and pray for us too. In our knowing of the scheme there still always ends up that one night when you know he's going to try you. You've gave him the speech about how you don't want to have sex blah blah blah, and that's exactly what he hears, "blah blah blah blah" ( Rich Homie Voice ). 

For some reason we all have this moment of weakness where we think it's okay because he really likes us ( does he ?). Next thing you know he's giving you a massage and gets those pants off. You're done for buddy. You're laying there halfway enjoying yourself because in your head you're thinking, "I shouldn't be doing this, we need to stop but...". When it's all over you have feelings of regret. He doesn't, he's probably sleep. He made that last three pointer and won the game baby. 

Time goes by, you kicking it, you texting, of course you still reminding him of his jeep so he's going to wax it. That's all he's doing though, waxing it. You all don't go out, yea you've been around his friends they know the deal, but you're not his #WCW. You are not "BAE"! All this time spent letting your body be his party and for what? To still be coming over just to go sit in his room until he's ready to hit the light switch. You don't understand...now you're mind is all messed up. So you say something and at the end of it all...either, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but I like you" or " I never said we was going to be together in the first place" is the response you get. You get mad, you delete his number and that's that. It's rare but fellows, some of you get played for the "okey doke" too. You all usually buying gift after gift though. It does play out exactly like this, but you get where I'm going. 

I said earlier everybody nowadays wants to be in love. I don't care how hardcore you try play, you want it. I also said nobody goes about it the right way. Now before I go into the reason why let me just say, "there is nothing wrong with having sex earlier but at some point know when to stop."

What's the point of a man or women really caring about your feelings getting hurt if you never really gave them a reason to in the first place? You all have been getting it on like rabbits. No time to get to know each other. That's a BIG DEAL. We jump so quick in the bed with each other we totally forget that, "hey I really don't know much about this person". The more time you take to get to know a person the more sincere you begin to feel. With learning that person you reach a level of respect for this person. The knowledge and respect you've grown to have for this person turns into a BOND, a FRIENDSHIP. You don't want to see or do wrong by this person because,YOU CARE.

It's and old saying and I have no idea who said it but, "nothing worth really having comes easy." There may have been more to it but I'm sure you you're catching my drift.  We need to take more time out. We have to stop rushing. We need to stop and take control of situations. Stop giving in. If you have a time frame before you decide to have  sex, stick to it. If you want to have sex but still want to work towards a relationship, say that. Do not just keep having sex and thinking it will automatically turn into a Cinderella story. It won't. Make your wants known. If we did this we wouldn't need to post a picture or tweet about the relationship goals we wish to have. Why? Because we would be living them.  

Take note that I have never been in love. I have fell for the plot many of times. I'm single, have been for awhile. I think on things a lot. Like everyone else, I want someone to love me too. This is my own personal opinion on how things go and what I think the issue is. Some may see otherwise. We as a generation need to get back on this real deal love. Back in the day things were done with TLC.  I hope though after reading this, you think about what I've said. Look to build a foundation of friendship, respect, sincerity. Don't just hop in between those sheets and hope for the best. 

Please feel free to comment and share. 

( I would love another viewpoint on this.)

Thanks for reading. Much Love : ) 

Growing Up Kardashian

I'll just start this post off with saying everyone has the right to raise their children how it suits them, to a point. Everyone has their own views on what is and isn't appropriate for ages. 

Now let's get to it! The picture above makes a pretty clear statement. I agree with it. How many children have you seen raised and managed by there parents who haven't had some type of crazy breakdown later on down the road? You all remember Amanda Bynes recently, she went through the phase a little late but she went HARD! 

Their have been plenty of kids managed by their parents and just lash out and go nuts because they think they are untouchable. Sometimes it's a cry for help, any attention is better than none. Some people do whatever to get some kind of recognition from a parent or just others period.  Remember Bebier and the "Nigga Remix" ? Whether they are managed or not it all depends on what you instill in your children. Michelle Obama is a First Lady of the United States of America, she has some formality she has to uphold to. Regardless of her being a First Lady I do not believe she would let any of her children do the many of obsurd things Kris Jenner has let her 17 year old do. Lifestyle has a strong play in this situation. Times have changed and so have mind sets. I believe both mothers are close in age but it's obvious their thoughts are very far off. Kris Jenner lives in a faster new aged lifestyle, while the First Lady seems to stick more to her upbringing. The current "mood" for the USA is money. It's all about money and who or what looks good. People really aren't worried about how their personality and morals look to people. As long as you look good while you did it thats all that counts. Mentalities are not the golden ticket to the money factory, it's your face, the act you put on. 

Can you honestly say that you look at Kylie Jenner and think 17 year old girl ? She wears things I didn't start wearing until recently. I'm 23 years old. She's dating a 25 year old man, although he acts like a boy he's still a 25 year old man. There is no way he's not trying or has not already had sex with her. He doesn't cross me as the type not to push the situation. He definitely doesn't cross me as the kind to wait either. 

She's had multiple plastic surgeries that could have waited until she was older. I personally think Kris is too much of a friend and it has back fired on her. Watching episodes of the show here and there it's obvious the girl has some kind of resentment with her mother. Yes she makes her own money, yes she has her own businesses but she just graduated from high school. She is moving too fast. She is a teen who grew up in an adult setting, but still a teen.

Her mother spent too much time pimping I mean managing Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe to put real time into giving her somewhat of a childhood or even helping her build a mindset to see that some of what she's doing is too rushed. Most of her time is spent managing the things they do. Half of the advice I have heard her give isn't motherly, its something you would hear from a girlfriend. In a sense I think she lives through them. I think her being the baby as well has a lot to do with it as well but I just hope this Tyga episode is just that, an episode. Hopefully she doesn't do anything crazier than her Lip challenge. 

Just because Malia was raised in the White House does not mean later on down the road she won't. It's not very feasible in my eyes but crazier things have happened.

Feel free to comment and share. I'm sure some will have input on this subject. 

The Kardashians have a way of taking people out of character in their defense, which I found interesting. 

Milky Wayv: Milky Wayv - The Best Mixtape You've Ever Heard

                          Milky Wayv: Milky Wayv - The Best Mixtape You've Ever Heard

Tracklist

1. Take Off x Ozone ft. Mufasa Enzor

2. IJWY x Bobby Earth

3. Take You There x Bee Honey ft. Adam DeWalt

4. Verbs X Peyton

5. Spare Time x Mufasa Enzor

6. Lianne La Havas x Big Brandon Willis

7. If x Jalen Baker ft. Natalie Hords & Ozone

8. Spread Love x Tiara Jewel

9. Dreams Exist x Amaru

10. It Feels x Bobby Earth

11. Adventure x Peyton

12. Up Up & Away x Mufasa Enzor

13. New Day x Bee Honey

14. Chrysantheum x Ozone

15. Life's A Game x Amaru

This Mixtape does live up to its title " The Best Mixtape You've Ever Heard" if you are in to the new age neo soulish r&b vibe. The instrumentals give you a refreshing feel, ist relaxing. This is " I don't go to the club often music", something you can sit back and create to. I'll admit some of the vocals are different, you have to tune into the words to make it click. Let's talk about the words though, very meaningful. I wish someone would think of me enough to "swim until they drowned just to catch a breath of my air." I find it amazing how young some of them are and the things they all have to say about feelings, a person they adore, and just life. "Love love love love, spreading love with you..' " Life's incredible when I'm in your safe haven."  I don't think there is one track that I'm not rocking with. You can vibe all the way through without skipping any of the 15 songs on the tape. Unless you're like me and get in straight "Ay Dj, throw it back one mo' time!" and just have to play a certain track over and over.

Feel free if you're on a desktop to skip through my playlist and listen to a few I added. I also posted a link above under the mixtape art. Thanks for reading, please comment and share. Much Love : )

Veggie Noodle Italian Sausage Pasta

So although I'm lacking in working out ( I need someone on my ass, I need a volunteer sergeant!) I still try to eat healthy. Once you research and see what you are actually eating it makes you read the ingredient section on every box. 

I've tried going vegan and it's just not for me.in this recipe I used Italian sausage and only two pieces. I got the noodles on sale at Kroger's for a $1. Great part about it is that they are made out of veggies ! i Think overall this cost $6 to make. I'm all about saving a dollar babyyyy !

Ingredients 

( take note, I live by myself so I don't need to use as much. So if you have a family or cooking for friends double up)

•1 can of tomato paste 

•2 tbs of Italian spice 

•1 clove of chopped garlic 

• 2 tbs of pepper 

•1 half of sweet onion chopped 

•1 box of noodles ( I used half a box ) 

•1 package of medium spicy Italian sausage ( I used two pieces )

If you all try it comment and let me know how it went and how you liked it : ) 

Charged Up, thanks Meek!

it only took a couple tweets on the late night tip. Every time something serious goes down, some unnecessary bull like this pops up. At the end of the day both of them making more money then all of us by the minute. While they get catered to, guarded and chauffeured we have to worried about whether or not we are going to live if we get pulled over. I'm all for the music (I love 6 God) but fuck they're weak ass beef. It's literally a week ass beef. Stop falling in the trap 😯☝🏾️I'm not even bout to be lowkey with it. ..I get pissed at how deep in their lives some of y'all get. 

Mommy Dearest

Photo cred: MossyRockDesigns

Mother

noun

def: a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.

synonyms: female parent

Every girls first love and best friend in the world is usually her Mother. She births you, teaches you right from wrong, and spoils you on your birthday. Compliments you so you will always walk with your head held high and have confidence in your walk. Most of all she loves you and sets and example of the love you should receive and except from others.Well this is what I have seen based off my experience watching friends with their mothers. They tell each other everything and do girl friend things every now and then. My story is a little different, I'm a daddy's girl.

I really couldn't tell you much about my mother, except that she called my father and asked him to come get me because I would not stop crying. I guess at 2 months I missed my daddy. Whenever he tells me the story he says, " As soon as I came in the door you looked at me and stopped crying." As far as I know my mother uses drugs and is a lengthy wrap sheet criminal. Most of my memories of her are quite vague. I remember sitting at McDonald's as a child waiting for her to come see me for our weekly visitation but she never came. I guess she had more pressing matters.

I can recall times where she has stood right in front of me, looked me in my eyes and kept it pushing. She always sends me letters when she is in prison telling me how much she loves me. As the letters go on she likes to makes excuses on how my father would never let her see me and other lies. To sit as long as I did as a child and just wait on her like I did, every letter would set my soul a blaze. I don't think I will ever fully grasp how people can lie like they do. The last time I saw her was at my high school graduation and I really did not want to her to be there. I also had the chance to meet my little brother who happened to be 5.

From high school to the present my father has remarried, and lord I can honestly say I wish he hadn't. Until this morning I never thought about the sacrifices my father has made for me to have a nice upbringing. My stepmother has had a very emotionally strained childhood. Her mother gave her up for adoption, she lived in foster care, and has been sexually abused. Now if you have knowledge of the foster care setup you can imagine the things she has seen and had to deal with. Her past had made her a very angry person. She goes off about the pettiest of things. There have been days where she has threatened to beat me blue because I left the fancy shower curtain inside the tub instead of hanging out. We really do not have a relationship.

She doesn't like to do anything with father and me. We invite her to watch movies with us or just hang out. She rather stay in the guest bedroom, which she has basically turned into her own bedroom. She likes to sit in there on the computer or read books. I explain her as socially awkward, she doesn't know how to interact with others. If she does it comes off in a snarky or know-it-all manner, at least with me. I've tried to brush her off and let her ways go but I can't. How she acts disrupts my peace. I feel bad because I felt like I resented her for all these years because she wasn't my mother or because we didn't have the movie mother daughter relationship.

I credit her for over the years for trying here and there. Some thing I know book wise is thanks to her. I may even owe some of my crafty and creativeness to her because of things she introduced me to. I understand she never had a real mother of her own, so she is going to win an award. Today though might have been my final straw of forgiveness. She basically accused me of stealing her things. I have my own apartment, my own everything I do not need to steal. She is a stickler when it comes to using her things. You can tell she doesn't really want you to, and if you do use it she will police you.

I always visit on Sundays because we have dinner and I catch up with my dad. My stepmom always sends me home with leftovers in tub ware. I know her things are her things but with my schedule I forget I even have it. She will text me in the middle of the night telling me I need to  bring her stuff back. Okay, its your stuff its not that deep. I bring her things back and eat some leftover and go on about my day. I get a call at 6 AM asking if I took one of her bowls. I say no because I hadn't, but my dad calls again to ask one more time. He comes later to visit me at my apartment to tell me she lashed out about me always taking her things. My dad tells me that she checks all of her things once I leave to see if things are missing. My stepmother cussed my father out this morning over tub ware.

I'm a daddy's girl so of course I'm upset about it but inside I know there is nothing I can really do. I can't really explain fully how I feel because my mother thinks I'm a thief. I'm at the point where I don't want to deal with her at all. I don't believe any of this to be normal. She refused to see anyone about her outbursts because she sees nothing wrong. My dad is ready to move out but this is a reoccurring situation. She is a lot to deal with and through the years you just get tired. My dad is getting to old to start all over in a new setting, but deep down I wish he would. I find it selfish of her to treat us the way she does and not want to learn how to calm down. It angers me to know she walks around with my last name and acts the way she does. Even moving out on my own hasn't seemed to fix things, she always finds an issue.

 I used to pray when I was younger that my God Mother was my real mom. She was my birth mothers best friend. She was the best in my eyes. She braided my hair, painted my nails, danced and played with me. I loved her so damn much. She was everything to me when I was a child. Like everything in life, it had to end. My brother was sentenced to eight years in prison for a shooting and she just lost it after that. She became paranoid and started hearing voices, abused drugs. She moved away for some years and came back around my high school graduation. The first time i saw her she asked me, "did you hear them tell me to burn the building down?!" After that I just couldn't do it, she scared me. 

I sit back and wonder if other people go through things like this with the female figures in their lives.Sometimes I really feel like a motherless child. I think a lot of things would've been different for me growing up if I had a woman in my life that had her things straight. Growing up was different but I will say.....I love the young woman I'm becoming.

Thanks for reading, feel free to share this, your story with me, experiences, or just a comment. Much love : )