The Love You Create

friendship [noun]
def. (1)the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
 (2)a state of mutual trust and support

1. [synonym]: harmony, unity, attachment

respect [noun]

def. (1)a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

love [noun]

def. (1)an intense feeling of deep affection. (2) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)

We scroll...we scroll daily on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and any other hit social app out there. What do we mostly see? Pictures of people talking about how they want this and that, the "relationship goals". Everybody nowadays wants to be with somebody, BUT nobody wants to do it the right way. I'll keep it three stacks, in my mind and soul I know the right way but I never followed through. I rushed.  As individuals we all get so wrapped up in our perfect idea of love and how it's supposed to go that we skip steps. MAJOR STEPS. 

It always starts out with the simple, "let's chill". So you chill, nothing wrong with that. The more and more you chill, usually at someone house you end up only seeing one room. The bedroom. It goes from chilling on the couch like Ed, Edd, and Eddy to the R.Kelly bump and grind real quick. It becomes routine. That's what you and this other person do now, you "chill". After while the chillin' gets played out. 

When it comes to this whole "let's chill" scheme (yes, I called it a scheme! straight up PLOT!) , some guys have it in mind to actually do just that. Let's be honest though, majority of them don't want to chill with you. They know the first couple of times they will actually have to sit on that couch and watch tv with you. It's all good though because they know sooner or later they can tell when to go for the strike. Now ladies, we know this too. Well some of us, these younger ones.....let us pray. As we pray for them let's go head and pray for us too. In our knowing of the scheme there still always ends up that one night when you know he's going to try you. You've gave him the speech about how you don't want to have sex blah blah blah, and that's exactly what he hears, "blah blah blah blah" ( Rich Homie Voice ). 

For some reason we all have this moment of weakness where we think it's okay because he really likes us ( does he ?). Next thing you know he's giving you a massage and gets those pants off. You're done for buddy. You're laying there halfway enjoying yourself because in your head you're thinking, "I shouldn't be doing this, we need to stop but...". When it's all over you have feelings of regret. He doesn't, he's probably sleep. He made that last three pointer and won the game baby. 

Time goes by, you kicking it, you texting, of course you still reminding him of his jeep so he's going to wax it. That's all he's doing though, waxing it. You all don't go out, yea you've been around his friends they know the deal, but you're not his #WCW. You are not "BAE"! All this time spent letting your body be his party and for what? To still be coming over just to go sit in his room until he's ready to hit the light switch. You don't understand...now you're mind is all messed up. So you say something and at the end of it all...either, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but I like you" or " I never said we was going to be together in the first place" is the response you get. You get mad, you delete his number and that's that. It's rare but fellows, some of you get played for the "okey doke" too. You all usually buying gift after gift though. It does play out exactly like this, but you get where I'm going. 

I said earlier everybody nowadays wants to be in love. I don't care how hardcore you try play, you want it. I also said nobody goes about it the right way. Now before I go into the reason why let me just say, "there is nothing wrong with having sex earlier but at some point know when to stop."

What's the point of a man or women really caring about your feelings getting hurt if you never really gave them a reason to in the first place? You all have been getting it on like rabbits. No time to get to know each other. That's a BIG DEAL. We jump so quick in the bed with each other we totally forget that, "hey I really don't know much about this person". The more time you take to get to know a person the more sincere you begin to feel. With learning that person you reach a level of respect for this person. The knowledge and respect you've grown to have for this person turns into a BOND, a FRIENDSHIP. You don't want to see or do wrong by this person because,YOU CARE.

It's and old saying and I have no idea who said it but, "nothing worth really having comes easy." There may have been more to it but I'm sure you you're catching my drift.  We need to take more time out. We have to stop rushing. We need to stop and take control of situations. Stop giving in. If you have a time frame before you decide to have  sex, stick to it. If you want to have sex but still want to work towards a relationship, say that. Do not just keep having sex and thinking it will automatically turn into a Cinderella story. It won't. Make your wants known. If we did this we wouldn't need to post a picture or tweet about the relationship goals we wish to have. Why? Because we would be living them.  

Take note that I have never been in love. I have fell for the plot many of times. I'm single, have been for awhile. I think on things a lot. Like everyone else, I want someone to love me too. This is my own personal opinion on how things go and what I think the issue is. Some may see otherwise. We as a generation need to get back on this real deal love. Back in the day things were done with TLC.  I hope though after reading this, you think about what I've said. Look to build a foundation of friendship, respect, sincerity. Don't just hop in between those sheets and hope for the best. 

Please feel free to comment and share. 

( I would love another viewpoint on this.)

Thanks for reading. Much Love : )