It's Just The Feel
Is it really cliche.....that I want flowers just because it's Wednesday?
Is it corny of me to want a guy to take my backpack when he decides to walk with me?
Am I stuck up for wanting to be asked out to dinner or a movie instead of netflix and chilling?
Am I to be considered a BITCH because I'm tired of "wyd" text at 2AM?
Does it make me lame to have my own standards of being courted?
Should you call me crazy for really wanting to fall in love?
Nowadays things are so fucked up.
I can't remember when I have met a guy or any guy that met me and asked me on a real date...
oh my damn I've never went out on a real date.....
What makes that statement ever sadder, is the fact that their are probably thousands of other women who haven't either.
As a woman I don't want a man to deal with me solely off of my looks. My ass isn't huge, my hair isn't down my back, my waist have never been a size 2, and I'M NOT FOREIGN.
It took me 24 about to be 25 years but I have so much more to offer than my exterior. EVERY woman does, I don't know how but it seems like we only find value and love based off these hardcore standards set by men.
hey should treat us? What we need to attract them, and how they should love us?
We as women have so much power individually, we need to realize it and use it.
We need to take our power and set our standards for ourselves and how we want to be loved.
We deserve that and so much more.
I can't be the only person tired of being courted through Instagram and Facebook. The constant compliments or your body and all the things they want to do to it. The inconsistency, the "hey stranger" text. Being Queen material and pushed towards the jump off. Showing sides of you that nobody has every seen and it being unappreciated. The fake I love you's. The selfishness of only being able to receive a call when a dick is hard. LIES. The thought of being the only one and realizing you aren't even close to number 5. The games. One day your all they want, next day they can't answer the phone. Always wanting but can't ever give. Feeling everything but LOVE.
Someone who actually meets me and asks me about myself. Genuinely has interests in what makes me tick. Curious about what matters most to me and what I'm looking for in a potential someone. Hell, a person who seriously wants to hear how my day went.
I can't say I know what love is but I know how I want it to make me feel.
Of course I want someone to look at me and say, " She's Beautiful."
I want to be beautiful because he SEES me. When I say me not my face, my soul. I want him to fall in love with the fact of my sincerity, I want to know him. He can see that I don't need him to love me because I have truly fallen in love with myself. He understands that anything worth having must be worked for. My LOVE. When we disagree, we can still laugh it out. He accepts my goals and won't try to change them to suit his needs. He believes in me and vice versa. He can teach me and I can teach him. Spontaneity. When i'm not around I want him to think about me because I'm thinking of him. T'rust, I don't want the code to your phone. Acknowledgement. Proud to say that he is mine and I his. Never have to question whether he's in this for real or still deciding. NO doubts. I want to feel his soul, when I look into his eyes I want to be home. SAFE. No completing each other but Complimenting because individually we are complete within ourselves. Foundation, built strong from day one. Dancing in the rain. Willing to try things for me. A friend I've had forever. A rush. Someone for me only. THE FEEL.
It may just be me but it hasn't been too many, but the guys I have dealt with....I didn't feel IT. I don't know exactly how to explain the feel but I know I haven't felt it. Maybe that why people say, "When you fall in love you'll know. You can feel it."
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